Monday, February 20, 2006

Political jokes

Vladimir Putin goes to bed one evening and Stalin appears to him in a dream. Putin asks Stalin for some help with the state of Russian economy, crime, etc... Stalin says:
- Round up and shoot every male between the age of 21 & 30 and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue.
Putin asks:
- Why blue?
Stalin retorts:
- I knew you would ask me about the second part first.
A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. Both of his books have been lost. Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer said the president was devastated, as he had not finished coloring the second one.
In England, what is permitted, is permitted, and what is prohibited, is prohibited.
In America everything is permitted except for what is prohibited.
In Germany everything is prohibited except for what is permitted.
In France everything is permitted, even what is prohibited.
In the Russia everything is prohibited, even what is permitted.
During his visit to the USSR, Nixon was intrigued by a new telephone capable of connecting with hell. He spoke briefly with the devil, and the call cost him 27 cents. When he came back home, he found out that this same service was now available in the US too. He tried it again and received a bill for $12,000. Nixon was distressed.
- How come?! The same call only cost me 27 cents in the USSR.
- Well, said the operator. Over there it is a local call.
What was the nationality of Adam and Eve?
-Russian of course. Why else would they think they're in Paradise when they were homeless, naked, and just had one apple for both of them?
Is it true that under communism people could order food by phone?
-Yes, but the delivery was by TV.
Originally posted:


Bruce Joyner said...

Man oh, man!...I loved these jokes..I had never heard any of them before...i was laughing outloud at the Putin and Bush jokes. Cheers to you my friends..without a sense of humor living in todays world would be a real matter where you live.

SeBe said...

I am very happy to read this.

I'll try to post more Russian jokes in next days.

Kirill Pennington (Yerimichoy) said...

I'm Russian! So I clearly wanna blow up from all the stuff about politics and presidents. I loved these jokes. Waiting for more in Russian.

Claire said...

These jokes r awesome. my slow friend is russian, these jokes make me think of her!!